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Have you ever truly thought somebody was “the one”? In retrospect, ever realized this person wasn’t a soulmate or a twin flame but, rather, a karmic partner? It’s like a ton of bricks landing on your face. Shit hurts. Ever felt so exhausted or betrayed by love, you’re like awww hell no when it comes to finding another? If you answered yes to any of these questions, #1 you’re just as fucked up as I am, and #2 welcome! You are in the right place, my friend. Cue dumb intro nobody gives a flying shit about anyway then we’ll talk about it.
INFJ, you love hard. You mean it too. Your heart is there. This is why separation, betrayal or loss causes such excruciating painful suffering. Far from fair-weather, you gave it your all. Maybe not all of you but you gave it your entire heart. Here’s some good news: If you are true INFJ, once you fall and get back up from a serious heartbreak, you remember all aspects of that tumble and you learn from it. You analyze what made you trip, why that object held enough importance to take you down, who put it there and why, how you behaved once you landed, the manner in which you resurrected yourself. You remember who was there, who had walked away. You have the lessons now. It takes one good heartbreak, just one. This one heartbreak is such a kick in the lady-balls, you gave yourself a sex-change operation. It is like being trapped in a casket full of mosquitoes but you have no hands.
We see that heartbreak, that lesson and we feel jipped….at first. INFJs also analyze the lesson itself. In order to judge it, you need to know it. Once you know all sides of that heartbreak, you thank it. It blessed you. It set you right again because now, and you didn’t realize it back then, you’re no longer astray. You don’t see your heart-wrecker as an enemy because they helped you realize so many things about life, relationships and yourself. You now know what you deserve. This experience many refer to as the awakening or enlightenment after going to the dark night of the soul.
Before this one huge heartbreak you thought would kill you but really made you stronger and wiser, you didn’t mind hook-ups and flirting. Because you didn’t yet understand how sexual energy is exchanged, how energy in general is exchanged. See, sharing a bed is more than just one person sticking their genitals in anothers orifice. It’s human balls of energy combining those energies for however long it takes- 15 minutes for some, seven for others. For some, the sensitive intuitive souls, that energy lingers longer. Often, much longer. Why do you think you ghosted that freak or even saw them as a freak after? Why do you think it’s something you don’t utter to the world, another skeleton in the closet.
We’ve all had that pity fuck. We all did somebody who reeked a bit or repulsed us once they took their clothes off. We all bowed our heads during that walk of shame. If you haven’t, lucky you. For the majority of us Earthlings, it’s a thing we try not to talk about or admit to publicly but we still remember it. That kind of energy stuck with us, we just didn’t know it. It’s like oil and water. If the two people going at it aren’t on the same vibrational levels, shit can get out of whack.
Rather, sex is a serious matter. It’s an important biological need and intentional and intimate display of affection. Once you go through a heartbreak that jumbles your world around, it realigns what’s important. You are important. I am important. That person next to you is important. Sure, they may suck at times, but they are important. Our energy is important. The reason there is so much chaos in society is because we forgot that, in order to really comprehend life and to see its purpose, we need to focus on the inner prowess of another, not the physical charm. The gift not the packaging. I say ‘society’ because it’s not like this in the wild, so I’m not really sure why they call the wild ‘wild’ and humans otherwise. Collectively, we’re the wild ones, the forgetful ones. We all carry so much lost wisdom that is so bogged down by modern toxicity. ‘Lost’ wisdom because only a few of us really reclaim it in this lifetime.
If we keep sharing energy with those we’re not energetically compatible with, the potential of creating another imbalanced human from that energy exchange is highly possible. Bill Burr once made a skit about “that guy” where he joked “stop making that guy!” Some of you are picking up what I’m putting down. It’s funny as shit. But he was right. If we keep spreading our energy portals- our genitals- we’re wasting energy we could be saving for the one who truly matters. If you mix an apple and orange, you’d get an orapple. That’s not the way nature intended it. But if you mix a Granny Smith with a MacIntosh, you still get an apple. You wouldn’t settle for somebody not equal in the qualities you hold valuable, so why share your bed with one?
Personally, after my heartbreak, I was crushed. Sometimes, it felt literal. As an INFJ, my love is deep. I only say it when I mean it and that is rare. Too many nowadays are all “Love ya!” to everyone that crosses their path. It’s weird to me. What is the point of ‘love’ if we’re, like so many other words and phrases now, redefining it? We were blessed with such a deep emotion for a reason and that is to use it and spread it wisely not foolishly or blindly. Otherwise, we’re just blowing a magical gift and shitting in the goblets of the Gods who blessed us with them. Love wisely and share your love-energy with those vibing on the same high level. You are too special to be giving away your sparkle to those who don’t even deserve your tarnish.
After my one huge heartbreak, I didn’t even want to find another. I’d spent so many days listening to his promises of forever that I believed them. Other people didn’t even cross my mind during him and even after. I found myself unable to flirt with a man, date one, let alone sleep with one. I found my worth and I don’t find the want to share my energy. I’ve spent so much time washing the bullshit off my glitter so now it actually shines again. I no longer believe in “forever” or a love that lasts a lifetime. I absolutely do not love this person any longer. There’s always a space for him in my heart but I have moved on in my mind. My faith and my genitals, now that’s another story. We’re still healing. I was so broken, I don’t know if I’ll ever put my love into another like I did that one time. I don’t even know if I’ll ever have sex again or a boyfriend or even go on a date. I don’t want to. I won’t be ready for a while.
This year, 2022, marks four years of celibacy. I even remember the day- March 2nd. Not at all because it was bow-chicka-wow-wow but because I’m just wicked good at remembering details. Four short years of no sex, no sexting, no dates….just me and my babies exploring nature whilst exploring ourselves. To me, now, life is much deeper. I’m much deeper. I’m rougher but I’m softer at the same time. I know what I want now. I took that time to heal, to really reflect on the reflections in the mirror he showed me, and I learned. These lessons, this wisdom, isn’t mean to be given away nor bought or sold. It’s mine. And my babies. This celibacy experience has taught me to focus on what’s out there instead of just what’s in here. It’s what’s out there that helped to create what’s in here, afterall. To INFJ, love means love and passion means passion.
Tesla said “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” Like with countless things, he was right. He held a wisdom beyond any even modern man knows. We should heed his words.